While, yes I have climbed mountains, and I will never forget the view and feel from the top, I am not talking about a physical mountain. I am talking about the peaks in life that only Our Great God can provide. This year, my family lived on top of one of those mountains. As I sit here and think about the blessings of the past 12 months I am literally moved to tears. Much like the awe I first felt when I summited my first 14,000ft mountain, I can’t believe the work God has done before me and my family this year.
For those that don’t know, almost 3 years ago Robin and I began what seemed like just a dream at that time. We dared to take the hope of adoption and see what God could do with it…God DID NOT disappoint! He looked right back at us and said “hey kids, watch what I can do when your desires align with MINE”. In only the way God can, He fulfilled promises made thousands of years ago, to “place the lonely in families”. Yet the most powerful piece of the story is just now beginning. We now get to see the power of that family at work, and it is beautiful.
Now for those who have never had the privilege to climb a truly high mountain (sorry folks, the Appalachians don’t count), no matter your skill level, it is a struggle. I remember my first time, so confident, maybe even cocky, in my athletic ability. I knew many others would struggle, but not me. Yet as the oxygen grew scarce, and the weather more fierce I discovered just how vulnerable I was. Above the tree line there is nowhere to hide. We faced sleet and lightning and I had the responsibility of 10 teenagers to keep safe. For maybe the first time in my life I was truly scared that day. Thankfully, God was on a greater display than the weather that day, and we walked through with only the emotional scars of understanding HIS greatness and our weakness when alone and separate from Him.
Fast forward to the present, our year of living on the mountain. I describe it as living on the mountain and not summiting the mountain, because I don’t think we have come down yet. We have experienced the exhilarating joys and celebrations that come with arriving at the top, yet we have also experienced the brutality of living in those conditions for extended times. We have felt the vulnerability, the storms, and the fear. The year has left us asking many times: do we have what it takes? I remember literally running from one of our first meals in China with Levi in tears, fearful of the struggles and unknowns before us. I have seen the financial struggles ebb and flow over and over. I have seen all three of our children live out moments of pure joy and moments of confusion and frustration. I have seen our middle child deal with levels of stress and anxiety that no 4 year old should ever have to deal with and in the same breath seen the look of peace in his eyes when he sits on his mommy’s lap and knows he is now in his home with his “forever family”. Simply put, I have lived on the mountain.
My heart is torn. There are moments that I never want to leave this mountain, yet there are moments where I can’t get off it fast enough. It’s not an easy place (God never said it would be) and I certainly know my sin and pride often make it more challenging. With all that said, there is no greater place to be. The work God has done in my heart (and my family's) is permanent and generation changing. It leaves me with one overwhelming thought, which is thankfulness. So on this day of ultimate thanks, I want to leave you the lyrics from the soundtrack of our year. This song, “All the Poor and Powerless” is a simple yet profound reflection of my family’s time spent on the mountain. While reminded of our frailness we can’t help but scream from the mountain tops that “He is God!” I also want to challenge all of you, if you haven’t spent time on the mountain, don’t wait. I am so thankful He led my family there.
All the poor and powerless
And all the lost and lonely
All the thieves will come confess
And know that You are holy
And know that You are holy
And all will sing out
Hallelujah
And we will cry out
Hallelujah
All the hearts who are content
And all who feel unworthy
And all who hurt with nothing left
Will know that You are holy
And all will sing out
Hallelujah
And we will cry out
Hallelujah
Shout it
Go on scream it from the mountains
Go on and tell it to the masses
That He is God
We will sing out
Hallelujah
And we will cry out
Hallelujah
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